All I’ve been doing is fucking everything up. I lost all of the people who meant the world to me…I feel like everything is only just going to go down hill from here. I never do anything right…Why cant I just keep my fucking mouth shut?! I cant take all of this anymore. I have so much on my fucking plate…I honestly am not giving a shit anymore…I’m done trying. Every time I try, I always fail so what’s the point. All I want is to be loved and be happy. But that seems like it’s so much to ask for. I have NOTHING now, NOTHING. I lost the person I was in love with, I lost my family, and I’ve lost friends. All because I’m a worthless piece of shit and a huge fuck up. I know life isn’t easy, but does it really have to be THIS hard? I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I almost sent myself to a mental hospital last night. All I’ve been doing is cutting myself and hurting myself emotionally. I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! I just want to die already….Everyone will be better off with me not around. No one in my house wants me around so what’s the point of staying. I haven’t been thinking straight since Friday night…My heart has been racing, its been hard to breathe. I’ve been shaking a lot and I don’t know what to do…I don’t even want to go to school anymore, I feel like life is honestly over for me. I’m just going down hill from here. My life is going to be over soon. I don’t want to cry anymore, I don’t want to be depressed. All I’ve ever wanted in life was happiness…And its all my fault that I don’t have it…I try my hardest all the time, but its never good enough for anyone. I wish I was a kid again so all I have to worry about is getting cut or bruised. There are so many problems that come when you get older, and I can never handle it. I really need help, but I don’t know where to start….
